Raymond W Harrison (Ray) (1953-1957)
Died 19th May 2023, aged 83
Eulogy by his son, John, spoken at Ray's funeral on 12th June 2023
Well, this was a day I never wanted to come around and this is a speech that fills me with pride and sadness. How do I sum up a brother, father, husband, grandfather and OMT and friend in just a few minutes?
Perhaps, by taking you back to start on 17 February 1940. A period when my sisters and I thought it was a monochrome world because all the photos and cine film were in black and white! As all of you know, Dad is a twin. His brother Philip is here today. Although twins with plenty in common in terms of love of sport and ending up working for the same bank, Dad was the bigger one. A difference noted by one of his mother’s friends when she heard a lot of noise coming from the pram. Looking in she exclaimed to Dad’s mother “that biggun’ just keeps on hollering”
Dad was a prolific sportsman, and his 1st success came winning the heavy weight boxing at prep school, which seems unbelievable given his friendly nature. He also won a medal for swimming a width. Very different back then. He also had his first introductions to rugby at St John’s prep school showing his true strength and determination when he broke his ankle and proceeded to cycle home rather gingerly!
He then went on to Merchant Taylors where he excelled at rugby, the shot and discuss. When I asked him why these two rather obscure sports, he said he just thought he could do better than what he saw out on the field. He decided he would order a shot and it arrived in the post much the annoyance of their local postman. His practice involved taking the shot everywhere he went, and in the winter heating up on the stove so it dried quickly. He even took it on honeymoon! Although I am not sure how much practice was done given that I was born about 9 months later!
He was school champion in both shot and discuss, county champion in the Shot and achieved an AA Standard. He also went on to play in the 1st 15 for Merchant Taylors. His strength being renowned in the 2nd row. This sporting prowess was not missed by his masters. His school report quoted “Raymond’s interests lie outside the classroom.”
After school he joined Barclays Bank where he would spend 36 years. Here at the bank, he continued to pursue his love of sport by representing the bank at rugby, Tennis, and athletics. Life at Barclays Bank in Dad’s Day was very different to today’s banks. He represented the bank and United banks throughout the year, most of which were during the week, so he didn’t actually have to do any banking! You’ll all remember Dad loved his food. He would always remind us of the tea lady that would come round every morning with tea and biscuits. Even when he started working the early shift for some extra money, most thought it was because of the lovely, cooked breakfast that came with the job.
His love of rugby and the team itself developed from Merchant Taylors to the Old Merchant Taylors. The OMTs at that stage played against teams at the highest level so fixtures against several today’s premiership teams were not uncommon. He also played against Guys hospital and in one such match he split his head. Given the opposition, he was quickly stitched up and sent back on again.
He was in the 1st 15 for multiple years where his strength and tackling were formidable. This was noted from the Caribbean Tour sheet, Dad was listed as, and I quote:
31, 2nd Row. 6’2” 200lbs. A powerful forward who works extremely hard and effectively. His work rate will be double anyone else’s.
But it was more than just the game, it was comradery and friends he made, many of which are here today. Dad was always one for a story and loved recounting them. There are number of you here today who can fill you all in on what went on, on and off the field, but I will share one such tale. Back when Dad was playing, the changing rooms did not have the modern set up of individual showers or even open showers, the OMT changing rooms had baths, very big baths where the whole team would wash down after the match. One such match they were all in the bath when a young lady came in the changing room and proceeded to take off all her clothes and join the whole team in the said bath. I am not quite sure what happened to her or who she was, although I am reliably informed, she is not in the congregation today!
It was at Durrants, the OMT Rugby club where Dad met my mother. They were married on 8 June 1974, and this once confirmed bachelor became happily married. The rugby continued along with squash but with 3 children soon came a new chapter for Dad. He and Mum running us round to various sporting and music activities. It is here that Mum opened Dad up to the wonders of travelling with the 3 of us when we were young and then by themselves, once we had flown the nest. I am sure that Dad would never have travelled without the organisation and support given by Mum. In the end, they had visited over 50 countries across the world. They even managed to visit the Falklands twice. This was probably Dad’s favourite holiday of all. He loved the history and remoteness.
It was at this time Dad started his volunteering not at the National Trust (a later pass time) but as Ka (Club leader at Batchworth) in Rickmansworth. How he managed to stay calm with 25 boys running around madly every Friday evening I’ll never know. He went off to camps which I think he really enjoyed, once we’d all gone to bed. He went on to volunteer at Durrants tending to the gardens with his venerable under gardener Patricia Turnbull. I don’t think the gardens had ever looked so good. He made sure they looked at their best for Judy’s wedding. He went on to volunteer at Hughenden Manor where he continued to garden for nearly 15 years. Once that became too much, he moved to driving the passenger golf buggy around for visitors, but this did not get off to a particularly auspicious start, when he left the brake off, and it rolled down the hill and into a tree!
With all these things going on, you would imagine, how would he fit time in for anything else, but he did. The arrival of 5 grandchildren brought about a new part of his life. Now as Gramps, the days were filled with games of it, annual trips to Brighton and weekends spending time as they grew up. He also did his best to keep in touch with the things enjoyed by the grandchildren. This meant avidly watching the cartoon version of Mr Bean and Bananas in pyjamas to make sure he didn’t miss out. To be honest, I think he enjoyed more that the grandchildren!
Before I finish, I thought I mention a couple of other interests Dad had which were far away from the rough and tumble of Rugby and sports. His love of coins started at an early age when he would go through his father’s pharmacy shop till and swap out the silver older silver coins for Cupro-Nickel. I asked him what was the draw of coins? His simple answer was, knowing that hundreds of years year earlier someone was using that coin for their daily activities. It was living history. He combined this love of coins with his love of the Romans. His Roman book collection was a handy aid for any sleepless night! He would regularly wax lyrical about the history of both. If you caught him at the right time, he could reel off all the kings and queens for the last 500 years and show you a coin to match.
The other interest, not so well known, was his love of ballet. A friend of the Royal ballet school and regular at the Royal opera house, he and Mum watched a Ballet every week. He wished he was a ballet dancer! Although having heard about his style of rugby playing that’s why he stuck to rugby. Mum and Dad would continue to drive into London almost every week well into his 80s.
So how do I sum up a life so well lived. His aim when starting work was to be retired. He managed 30 years of retirement against 36 years of work. He travelled the world. He was married for 48 years, raised a lovely family, and always manged to keep a smile on his face. He was generous in spirit and at the bar. He was always friendly to everyone in everything he did. We will miss him, and I am proud to say he was my Dad. God bless.
Memories of Ray by his friend, Dick Clack (1952-1959)
I have known Ray for many years mostly on the rugby field, we spent happy hours travelling the country together North, South, East and West to various destinations and he was a very sociable and affable companion. He was a gentleman in every sense of the word both on and off the field, he was a gentle giant, very strong solid and polite even in the midst of a loose ruck!
A superb example of his friendship and kindness occurred in February 2022 when he made a trip to Esher Rugby Club to mark the 50th anniversary of the death on the pitch of his great friend John Richardson, what an illustration of true friendship.
Ray you are greatly missed.
Memories of Ray by his brother-in-law, Peter Watkins (1960-1965)
Ray finally gave up the ball, but not without a fight. Those who played rugby with him knew his upper body strength and how difficult it was for the opposition to recover the ball if Ray had his hands on it.
I first met Ray in 1969, when he moved from playing rugby for Barclays Bank and the United Banks to Durrants and our Club. He said recently, that he needed a higher standard of rugby and her certainly found that with the fixture list at that time. We became firm friends and he loved his rugby playing days and was an extremely popular member of the Club. He was fast around the pitch as well as great mauling strength.
He seemed to have an uncanny knack of being in the right place at the right time (a forerunner to Dean Richards perhaps). He might not have scored many or any tries and certainly did not jump in the line out, but we all wanted Ray in our team.
He played 203 games for the 1st XV between 1969 and 1977 and was a proud member of the "200 Club", those who have made 200, or more, appearances for the Club between 1882/83 and 1981/82. There are only 39 players who did so.
In or around 1971, my sister Sue returned from Geneva and I was sharing a flat with David Brasier. After one year, I moved to the flat below with three young girls, and what great fun for a year! It was not long before a slightly shy Ray, as he was in those days, asked me over a pint at Durrants if I thought Sue might like to go out with him!! I said I was sure Sue would be happy and afterwards said to Sue that Ray appeared to be a confirmed bachelor, living at home - little did I know!
The three girls all married OMTs Sue to Ray, Sally to David Eaton, Linda to Richard Burt.
The rest is history as they say, and his son John gave a special eulogy which is published above. Ray was a man of many parts and a true friend to so many.
Steadfast and reliable.
Many of his friends might not know that Ray found passing exams difficult – as MTS knew – and the banking exams were a case in point and particularly difficult.
However, it was clearly not to do with his knowledge of banking as, after eventually passing, them he taught those young bankers trying to pass their exams at evening classes in the city.
Never shy of work, his long days also included opening the special post at Barclays at around 6am each morning which allowed him to have a full english breakfast at the in-house canteen.
After Ray retired, he became a driving instructor for a while and taught not only his children but ours as well. Those who followed Ray’s car on Easter rugby or other away matches knew that he obeyed every rule in the highway code, particularly keeping to the speed limit which was not a habit of OMTs in those days.
As John says in his eulogy his knowledge of some parts of history was amazing, mainly through his coin collection, and he was also an avid reader of the Wisden annual cricketers’ almanack and he could remember many of the records of famous cricketers.
Perhaps surprising, but maybe not, was his love of music and ballet and he and Sue regularly went to the Players’ Theatre and Old-Time Music Hall, the Royal Opera House, Sadler’s Wells and other theatres. He loved singing old folk songs, especially when we were all crowded in the kitchen at Brookmans park on Christmas Day and doing the washing up.
His favourite was “Susanna’s a funniful man or the old sow song” written in the 1930’s. One of his granddaughters sang it after the funeral with a noisy chorus! With my wife Tessa, we have shared so much with Ray and we already miss him so much.
He was a one-off and loved chatting, anywhere, to anybody and often in pubs.
He would never let you down. the best of the best.