Brian Edgar Farr (1944-1949)
Died on 21st September 2022, aged 91
Dad’s sudden death in September is a great loss to family and friends; he had become quite tired in recent months, and we found out only a day or so before he passed that he had been suffering from advance pancreatic cancer for some while. It seems that his physical resilience and fortitude had successfully masked his condition but whilst the time was so short in saying our good-byes, we all take heart that a good man suffered little pain or discomfort.
Dad was born in Barnes in south-west London. His second name, Edgar, came from his mother’s family name and included Edgar Wallace the author and his uncle Marriott Edgar, who is primarily known for the monologues recited by Stanley Holloway; readers may recall Albert - and the Lion, who, ‘swallowed the little lad whole’.
When war came, Dad was evacuated to Southport in Lancashire, where he went to Winterdyne prep school, before going at the war’s end in 1944 to Merchant Taylors. He did well there, working hard in the Classical Side, captaining the school swimming team, indeed breaking a school swimming record, and gaining a place at Cambridge. After National Service in the Royal Artillery, he went up to Sidney Sussex College, where he achieved a half Blue for swimming and read law. The choice of law may have been unexpected, in the light of one of his early school reports- Farr, B.E. age 14 and 8 months, Fifth form, 8th out of 14 in the class. That ranking is no shame, because he was a full year younger than the average age of the class. What is surprising is that he came top in maths and one other subject, which you wouldn’t guess. He was top in Divinity. Yet he went into the unholy field of law!
Dad and Mum first met, when Mum was renting a room in her cousin’s flat in Barnes and Dad succeeded in passing the required, quite weird, aniseed ball test. Dad used to play rugby for the Old Merchant Taylors, and he took Mum to their Rugby Club Ball. It was their first date, but the ball was clearly a success, because not so long afterwards Dad proposed to Mum in a pub, which was suitably named, The Case is Altered. They were married in July 1959.
Dad’s first job after qualifying as a solicitor was with the Law Society, working in Chancery Lane and helping in the administration of his profession. After a couple of years there he joined the great industrial concern British Insulated Callender’s Cables, which was at the time one of the top twenty companies in the UK.
Dad had a keen social conscience and always did his bit in service to the community. For OMT, he not only played rugby and captained the swimming team, but he also became a trustee of the War Memorial Trust which supported the sports club, was a Vice President and attended Earliest Vintage events. In that period when OMT was looking to move from Durrants to the School, he provided his views on the License Agreement and helpfully identified that the school’s lawyers were proposing terms for an agreement which did not truly reflect the relatively symbiotic nature of school and its alumni; fortunately, good sense prevailed and the agreement is now safely gathering dust in a drawer somewhere.
In the 1960s, Dad’s philanthropic efforts centred round the Chorleywood Round Table, which raised funds for a swimming pool at a local school and other projects.
One initiative of the Round Table led to an unusual adventure. In 1969 there were several earthquakes in Banja Luka in Yugoslavia, causing, besides the deaths and injuries, a quarter of a million people made homeless. Brian was Chairman of the Round Table at the time, and they decided to help by donating a 16ft. caravan. Brian led the three men who delivered it. The trio drove a small car, towing the caravan 1,300 miles across Europe non-stop, night and day, taking turns at the wheel. On Dad’s return, Mum greeted him with enormous relief, mainly of course at seeing him back home safely, but partly, it must be admitted, because he had taken the keys of the family car, leaving her stranded with three young boys! Dad chaired the PTA at Chestnut Lane primary School in Chesham Bois and helped raise money for their swimming pool. He also chaired the MTS school liaison committee for a while in the 80s.
Dad joined BICC’s Secretarial Department, becoming the Company Secretary. The Secretary is a key post in any company, the keeper of the seals, the goalkeeper in many ways, but especially in an industrial group with ninety wholly or partly owned subsidiaries in the UK and factories in fifteen countries abroad. That required relentless attention to detail in the documents which the company issued and the meetings held. Dad carried out his duties assiduously, but it required so many late evenings at work, that Mum and boys sometimes hardly saw him midweek. Noting Dad’s working style, he also had an extraordinary need to create detailed files on all aspects of his life and which we are diligently working through now.
However, all of us learned the value of hard work and serving others before self. We all admire his willingness not only to pick us up when we fell down in whatever we were doing, but constantly support and encourage us to do our best. Indeed, whilst times were not always harmonious, in general we can all say that the school motto applied.
In retirement, Mum and Dad settled in Charlbury, down-sizing into a property with a most convenient, small swimming pool, which kept him fit. Up until shortly before his death, it was a rare day when Dad did not swim many lengths of that pool. Dad’s key project in retirement was taking an unusual leap of faith, answering an advertisement in the paper and buying a house with an olive grove at Granaio in Tuscany. This became a home from home for many months of the year, a base to explore other parts of Italy and Europe and a place for family to spend time as well. In addition, Mum and Dad were generous in having friends to stay, showing them round the glories of Florence and neighbouring towns. Remarkably, given Dad’s long association with the Conservative party, he ended up selling the house to that well known Labour firebrand – Joan Ruddock.
Back home, Dad’s great love was music. He and Mum frequented the Wigmore Hall and delighted in the country house operas, at Glyndebourne, Grange Park and nearby Garsington. He was also a photographer, with a deep knowledge of the science behind the art and he did his own developing and enlarging in the laundry at home to Mum’s occasional consternation; of course, this was in the days before the arrival of the digital form. Dad was also quite a connoisseur of wine, especially Italian and Australian wines.
Brian was a devoted husband and loving father to Andrew, Colin and Edward and took great delight in spending time with his six grandchildren in the UK, Italy and Australia where Colin’s children grew up. Only last year , he and Mum came over to the OMT club to see the youngest – Lawrence -play for OMT hockey club. He took particular delight in knowing there have now been three consecutive generations at the school benefiting from its educational excellence.
Dad was a convivial friend, taking the train into London for reunions of colleagues in his old company, now renamed Balfour Beatty.
The words of his oldest friend at work – Nigel Hawkins:-
“Brian was a great friend whom I have known for sixty years, more than enough to recognise what a wonderful man we have lost. In fact, after only a short acquaintance you came to recognise Brian’s obvious virtues of kindliness, humour, intelligence, modesty and integrity. I last saw him only a few weeks ago in a small group of ex-BICC lawyers, who meet for lunch every other month. Though walking now with a stick, Brian determined to turn up, and when the talk turned to serious topics, he made his usual thoughtful and informed contributions to the discussion, always tinged with the good humour which he kept to the end. His death has left a hole in the lives not just of his family, but of all who knew him.”
And so say all of us.
Reflections pieced together by Andrew, Colin and Edward Farr and Nigel Hawkins
Further memories of Brian from Nick Foley (1944-1949) follow.
Now Albert had heard about Lions,
How they was ferocious and wild —
To see Wallace lying so peaceful,
Well, it didn't seem right to the child.
So straightway the brave little feller,
Not showing a morsel of fear,
Took his stick with its 'orse's 'ead 'andle
And pushed it in Wallace's ear.
You could see that the Lion didn't like it,
For giving a kind of a roll,
He pulled Albert inside the cage with 'im,
And swallowed the little lad 'ole.
The News Sheet records with sadness that Brian Farr passed away in hospital very suddenly in September 2022, aged 91. Brian was a most likeable man who will be greatly missed by those fortunate to know him. Edgar, his second name, came from a relative who wrote the Stanley Holloway ditty, The Lion and Albert. Just as well they did not choose Albert for his second name instead.
At Merchant Taylors’, Brian was educated on the Classical side. A hard-working scholar, Brian went on to Sidney Sussex College, Cambridge where he graduated. He studied to be a solicitor. In due course, he left the legal profession for work in industry, eventually becoming Company Secretary at BICC, since renamed Balfour Beatty. He married Rachael and, together, they brought up three sons, who, in turn, delighted them with six grandchildren. Our thoughts are with them all in their sad and unexpected loss.
In retirement, Brian spent much time in Italy where he acquired a property in Tuscany with a grove of olive trees. A great deal of work went into maintaining the trees, especially during the harvest. Brian had two other great loves: music and swimming. There was much music to be enjoyed in Italy, notably at Trasimeno not far away. Returning to the UK, Brian and Rachael settled in Oxfordshire, at Charlbury. They enjoyed opera together at Glyndebourne in Sussex, at Longborough, near where they lived, and also at Garsington Opera, near Stokenchurch, which Brian supported fully when it moved to the Getty estate. They were also regular visitors to the Wigmore Hall and other concert venues in London.
For the Old Boys, Brian contributed in a quiet but important way. He was a leading swimmer, a record holder at the School, when the pool was out of doors. Later, he swam for the Old Boys and captained the team. A very fit man, Brian swam every day until only a very few days before he died. At Durrants, he joined the School Liaison Committee which he chaired, drawing in other swimmers. In the 1970’s, he was appointed a trustee of the MTS War Memorial Fund, owner of Durrants. As trustee, his professional opinion was valued and respected. He retired before the move from Croxley Green.
There are many Old Merchant Taylors’ who contribute discreetly to the welfare of the Society without always receiving full recognition. Brian, fortunately, was not one of them. He was appointed a Vice-President for his steady work and loyalty, a fine Old Merchant Taylor who will be well remembered.